In A Time Of Growth

In a time of growth and blooming, I feel worried and bruised.

I am fearful of my future. I am chained to my past and am terrified that these bonds will never break. I feel like I will go nowhere in life, and will remain lost and hopeless.

I await some sense of clarity, some feeling to let me know that I am on the right path, but nothing has come to me. Am I waiting for a ghost? Am I waiting to morph into the woman I want — no — the woman I need to be? 

I don’t feel strong enough to kill the old me and blossom into someone new. I am cracking at the edges. my roots are unstable and clogged with repressed memories and feelings. I carry a suitcase of doubt, and I wonder if I could maybe lose it along the way to my destination.

I feel genuinely terrified to become what I need.