color key — blue: mental health. contrast of light and dark correlates with bright and somber tones of voice.

Many More Years

Many More Years

Many More Years

Many More Years

There's no way out, it's swallowing me whole

The dark abyss that’s become my heart and soul

 

Enveloped by neglect and unquenched desire

I may never know the joy that lights a heart on fire

 

Depression suffocating ever so silently

I grasp for hope, plead with my entirety

 

Those who lack understanding will inevitably judge

While those who don't will offer an encouraging nudge

 

To those slowly dying from the inside out

Their souls aching for a life they know nothing about

 

It begins with heartache, the pain deep and dense

With just enough of it the process will commence

 

It starts in the mind, coursing through every nerve

Soon to be distributed to each and every curve

 

That which destroys a heart will eventually take hold

Forced happiness causing the body to feel old

 

Feeling already dead, losing all composure

The thought of actual death melancholically taking over

 

It is not death that I want, but an end to the hurt

Trying to look up has become such work

 

I lie awake at night writhing in pain

Wishing I had someone to wipe my tears away

 

To hold me in the silence, and tell me I'm not too much

Conveying love with just a look or a simple touch

 

Maybe I will never know the love I've provided

Instead, always feeling the sting of my efforts left unrequited

 

Love and understanding was all I needed

I craved an end, death pleaded

 

It was there when no one else was around

It finally prevailed, putting me into the ground

 

The act of appreciation truly astounds me

For it is only discovered upon harsh reality

 

I am no longer here, my memory haunts you

Wishing to make it right you can only want to

 

Now you know, you feel something similar

You are weak, in need of a strong pillar

 

How does it feel, the aching sadness?

Does regret fill you, are you driven with madness?

 

That is no insult, just simple candor 

Maybe now you get it and you'll seek an answer

 

As to how and why you could be so cold

And idly sit by watching my demise unfold

 

You are not to blame, that's an unfair charge to be dealt

But you did contribute to what I had thought and felt

 

No one understands, I feel alone in my thoughts

With each passing day my mind has connected the dots

 

You are fine without me, you have been for this long

It shouldn't feel any different now that I'm really gone

 

I apologize to my friends, and the few people who care

I have no more tolerance, I've been overwhelmed by despair

 

Instead of ignoring, offer your time and ears

You might just keep someone for many more years

© Midnight Woman 2021