I Hope One Day
To the boy who made me feel lesser and unimportant. To the boy I thought I loved, who I thought loved me.
It’s been almost two years since then and that relationship still plagues my mind.
Haunted But Not Defined By
The guilt is what I now have to work through, accepting it for what it was, telling myself my mother would be by my side.
Thanks For Listening
I’m a teen going through some tough shit in my head. I recently just figured out that I have OCD.
In A Time Of Growth
I carry a suitcase of doubt, and I wonder if I could maybe lose it along the way to my destination. I feel genuinely terrified to become what I need.
It Will Never Leave Me
He wasn’t doing anything wrong or hurtful.
Grieving Takes Time
Grieving takes time, and for everyone that is different. I think that the one thing that helps the past recover is time.
Not The Mind; Feelings
We’re all trying to feel our bodies; what it means, to feel, to be alive in this organism that provides such rich lives.
Why Should He Get To Believe
Does he know that as we decided to separate, I only said we could remain friends because I was afraid of saying no? Does he know that because he showed up at my apartment for months, I still look over my shoulder to make sure he isn't there? Even when I'm a country away.
In The Kitchen
Even my best friend at the restaurant didn't respond well when I told him. He didn't respond poorly, he kind of just didn't respond at all.
What You Are
Do you know what you are? There is a difference between asking "who" and "what" you are, I think. Saying "who" instead of "what" already gives you a platform.
I've Finally Moved On
I know now that I’m a strong person. I know now that the weakness I had in that relationship does not define me or my femininity. But he still lingers. And I’m afraid he always will.
Hoping Wishing Praying
I hope that at some point I'm able to be as optimistic as I once had been about life, but until then — here's to hoping, wishing, and praying that this slow recovery stays on the right track.
I never fought back, never stopped him, never cried or spoke up. So how could this be anyone’s fault but mine?
I Didn't Understand
On the announcement of our engagement, after five years of no contact she messaged me: “I wouldn’t have reacted like that if I knew you’d get married.”
Putting Yourself First
It’s difficult when everyone pities you, yet you’re at the strongest you’ve ever been. It’s also difficult when he can do whatever he wants, but when you find the love of your life, he tries to derail it.
It’s 9:18pm on a Thursday night. This week flew right by me. My thumb hovers over my older sister’s phone number, but I don’t press it to call her. I think to myself, This is it. This is the feeling that’s making me sick.
Of Four Years
The relief I felt after the mutual split has now worn off, and I find myself in a daydream, remembering the beginning, experiencing a same-sex relationship for the first time with someone who did truly love me at one point, and I her.
The first time I went to therapy was shortly after my parents had divorced. I had just graduated from high school the previous summer and I was nineteen – struggling to find where I fit in this world.
This Will Fix Me
Go dancing, have a few drinks, hook up with a stranger - you just need a change! Yes. This will fix me. I’ll keep telling myself that.
This Time Feels Different
This time feels different than the first time we broke up. The first time I was completely liberated; it was difficult to adjust, but still very freeing.
It's Never Enough
There are only two of us, my mom and I. She's retired right now, and I have become the one who is responsible for this family.
When You're Gone
It’s 9 a.m. and…/ We wake up and make breakfast,/ And all is well.
Does It Matter?
This past September I bought a “Me Too” pin to put on my backpack. It was a way for me to acknowledge the validity of my own experience. It was a courageous statement.
Does She Know?
What would they say if they knew? Does she know? Does his wife know what he did?
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