color key — blue: mental health; green: self-reflection; black: death. contrast of light and dark correlates with bright and somber tones of voice.

Grieving Takes Time

Grieving Takes Time

Grieving Takes Time

Grieving Takes Time

From a young age, death was a hard concept for me to fully grasp. I used to think that only certain people died and only the bad ones. I grew up a little bit and realized that death is inevitable. I hate typing that.

I lost someone very close to me and that would cheer me on from afar and always be there when I needed them. And I feel like everyone has that person in their life and, if not, they need one. The day it happened I couldn’t tell myself that it was actually her, laying there, so lifeless. I couldn’t make myself believe it. My faith came trembling into this journey a bit. 

Grieving takes time, and for everyone that is different. I think that the one thing that helps the past recover is time. I have learned that pain doesn’t ever completely go away. You kind of make room for it and invite it out for dinner when mother nature hits every once in awhile; because I, for one, think it is good to be aware of your emotions. 

I didn’t know how to feel when she left. I felt sad, empty, angry, and helpless. I didn’t think I could ever really get over those feelings until I came into contact with them. I showered and cried and locked myself away until I figured out what I needed. I needed grievance. I needed to figure out how I felt about death, my faith, and how my emotions can sometimes take a toll. 

When those emotions came out, I learned that it’s not always best to push them aside. Recognize them, realize them, acknowledge them, comfort them. You have to remember all the things you have to live for and how much those matter. It is so hard to find light and search for happiness when it’s always dark and you want to wallow in your own sadness. 

Your head can get so loud and you can’t even hear yourself think; you can’t hear yourself trying to calm down. And that bad day you thought you had the other day, there will be an even worse one next week. You have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst sometimes with mental health. Keep striving for positivity and happiness. Do not lose hope, and keep your faith within hands reach because sometimes that can affect so much. 

Thanks for coming to my online therapy session. 

Have a good day, and be kind to one another. 

© Midnight Woman 2021